Are you one of those people who feel like people are basically good with a few bad apples or rotten with a few good apples? Many people say to me that they don't feel treated very well by the people around them. They will talk about all of the rotten things that people have done to them and point to it as proof that people in general just aren't good.
If you find yourself among this group, it is important to take a moment to see what you are putting out to the world. I'm not talking about "blaming the victim" if you feel you really have been wronged by someone. I mean that if in general, you feel people react to you with hostility, it is in your best interest to look at how you are presenting yourself to others.
For example, let's say I go into a store to return an item because it doesn't work. Walking in the door I expect they are not going to take back the item, or maybe even blame me for the defect. I walk up to the counter and the person asks me questions like "Why do you want to return this? When did you buy it? Do you have a receipt? etc..." Maybe they even say it in a crabby way.
In my mind set I might interpret these questions as this person not wanting to help me at all. I might think they are looking for ways to say they won't take the item back. I might even go to the place of this person doesn't care about my inconvenience they just want to make me go away. This could even confirm for me that people are basically rotten.
Hold on! It could be that the store has certain policies this person has to follow to allow them to give me my money back. They could be crabby because they were about to go to lunch when I walked in and they didn't have a chance to eat breakfast. Who knows? Maybe they are having a bad day.
Now let's say I go into that same store expecting they will help me as best they can. I go up to the counter and meet with the same crabby person. Instead of getting irritated I answer the questions understanding they need to protect themselves too. I tell them anything they can do to help me would be appreciated because I believe they want to help me. This person doesn't feel attacked and is much more likely to be nicer to me. If we want people to be kinder to us, we need to be kind first. It is like the old saying: "Be better to your neighbors and you will have better neighbors."
