Friday, September 28, 2012

"Say no politely and quickly."

I work with people all the time who have a hard time saying "no."  Some people feel guilty if they want to say no to someone and they know that person won't like their answer.  This can be a huge struggle that can cost someone a feeling of being in control of his or her life.

For example, let's say a family member would like to spend time with you.  You haven't seen this person in a while and it would mean a lot to them.  It just so happens that right before that call you made plans with a friend to do something else.  What if this family member is really good at expressing their disappointment so it leaves you feeling terrible? What do you do?

The above expression is good advice.  "Say no politely and quickly."  The first step is to realize that no else's feelings are MORE important than yours.  You have every right to keep the plans with your friend.  However, in saying "no" to anyone, we want to recognize that sometimes hearing "no" is harder for some people than others.  If you are interacting with a person who tends to get upset, try to say "no" as politely as possible.  Let that person know that you care about them and want to see them.  Maybe even suggest an alternate time that could work for both of you.  What you don't want to do is say "yes" when you want or need to say "no." This can lead to resentment. Say no quickly and politely and then go enjoy your time with your friend!