Have you ever found yourself doing or saying something and realizing your parents or some other influential person did that too? Sometimes that's a comforting realization if it's something we like. Sometimes, though, we find ourselves doing something as adults we swore we would never do!
Here's a simplistic example. Let's say your parents never approved of dressing in a particular style. You grow up, you get dressed one day, look in the mirror, and say to yourself "I shouldn't be wearing this." You can't quite put your finger on what's wrong with what you are wearing other than you feel there is something wrong with it. You may be operating on automatic messages from your past.
This happens a lot in therapy. Clients sometimes are living their lives according to outdated rules from their families of origin or messages that no longer fit them as adults. It can be freeing to examine some of these old whisperings to see if they are messages that help or hurt. The saying "Let go of beliefs that are not true." can be quite helpful indeed! A trusted friend or a good therapist can assist you with this. What are your beliefs and are they helpful to you?
